Sunday, November 6, 2011

Eye Catches

every eye catches beauty but only a heart can hold it.
when you see one, speak it
if you cant
 hold on to knowledge that you've seen it once
and the faith you'll find it again
-tedra

Playlist: Capturing (good stuff)


feeling Chrisette Michele right now....on my Capturing playlist, Chrisette, Adele, Maroon 5, Zac Brown Band, Erik Hassle, The Script, Shinedown, Tyrese, Ne-yo, Marsha Ambrosia, Jasmin Sullivan, Hanson, Leona Lewis, Jaheim, Heather Headly, Fantasia, Gavin Degraw, Florence and the Machines, Chuck Wicks, Chris Young, Christina Perri, Daughtry, Bruno Mars, Bilal, Brett Elderedge, Betty Wright, BabyFace, Anthony Hamilton, Alec Blacc, Alicia Keys, Maxwell, Laura Bell Bundy, Kristen Chenoweth, Duffy, Amy Whinehouse, Joss Stone, Mark Ronson…………………Fantasic playlist…. Happy Sunday, church starts at 11:00 @ IBOC. Hope to see you there!!!!!!!! 
happy to give details
 kisses

Saturday, October 22, 2011

happiness is a risk. if your not a little scared then your not doing it right

i read books. this is not news. everyone who knows me is pretty sure i have some sort of book on my person at most times.....so. but what i do know, or what i'm realizing now is that i read these books for the happy endings. for the life lessons. i used to bury myself in books and to be honest i still kind of hide, but im getting better. Im unsure of myself, always second guessing my decisons. AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS fell bad about thinking about good thing to come in my life. like i dont have a right to be happy or desire great and good things.then here comes some nagging bird who, tells me you cant do this, you shouldnt want this, orwhat about me. i realize its just jealous, and no its not me talking here, several people have told me that people who put others down are people who couldnt do the things we're doing. is it my fault that your not successful. should i feel bad for making something out of myself?but why should i? i have that right. you squandered yours and now you want to make me feel like crap because im taking advantage of the opps that have come into my life. i wont apologize for being happy or pursuing happiness. i wont apologize for taking chances with my future. because you know what, i DESERVE it. by right. by God, i do. all things are possible through Christ so why cant i have everything i want without feeling guilty because you couldnt have it. its not my fault. its not. so there. i feel better already.

this was so not what this entry was going to be about. its was suppose to be about me realizeing that when i read these books i think they give me courage or something to inspire to. does that make sense? probably not, but i catch what im trying to say. in this current book im reading, a woman is running from an abusive fiancee and she runs to her Aunt Lydia's house. the book is called "Julie's Chocolate's". you should really read it by the way. but she is going through all this stuff right, helping others, descovering new friends, "visualizing peace with your vagina"(pg86). the point is, is that ive read so many of these types of finding yourself through a journey through life and what not. that fianlly i think i may actually being doing what these wonderful characters in my books have been doing for years. living. yes, it may be tiring but its everything i prayed for. so no complaints. but finally, i feel like life is worth the risk. one of my favorite authors, Sarah Addison Allen,wrote(and im prob paraphrasing), wait, i want to get this right. she says,"happiness is a risk. if your not a little scared then your not doing it right." i believe it was  Willa Jackson who said that from, "The Peach Keeper, but dont quote me. my memories a little on the fritz, so.... but yeah, life is scary. but its also, exciting, humorous, predictiable and unexpected. i cant wait to see what good things are bound my way. cause i know they're coming, that the best part though isnt it, the anticipation ofit all.
okay, so my brother wants to have a talk.
talk to you later, cyber peeps.

kiss kiss kisses

Finally

Yay!!!!!!!!
I'm home. nowhere to go. noone to see. nothing to do. Yay!!!!!!!!!!

today:
*make lunch
    -lemon chicken breast
    -green salad
    -mac'n' cheese
    -garlic biscuits
*write

Yayy!!!!!!!!!!!!

kiss kiss

Pondering the Dizzy


Pondering the Dizzy





He makes me feel so…

Girly.

Like twirling my hair and batting my lashes.

Makes me want to melt into his arms and stay there.



Oh and he,

He makes me feel so special.

And

Strong

And

Steady

And,

Beautiful.



But he,

Ooh I swear the stars twinkle at daybreak.

His eyes land on me,

And my gosh,

My feet fly in front of me.



But

 He,

He feels so warm.

His smiles make me smile.

His hands tug at mine

And this feeling,

Overwhelms me.

I can’t handle the thought of leaving,

But,

I know that when I see him again,

It’ll be worth it.

He caresses my face

And my eyes close.

His lips touch mine

And I

And I see Heaven.

My God,

When he comes around,

Ooh,

My body lights

And I join him.



But when he comes around,

I get butterflies

But not the right kind.

I see stars,

But their short.

I feel heat,

But it’s harsh after a while.

But his arm is sweet.



But darn it,

When he,

When he comes around,

I forget about him.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Crazy For You

named after my fav song......he goes my poem


Crazy for Him



When I say I miss him,

You wouldn’t understand.

I see his face on everyone

With his eye color or quick walk.

To say what I wouldn’t give

To be back in his presence,

Well,

That’s between God and I.

But my heart doesn’t beat

Without a thought of him.

Its gets so bad sometimes,

He pisses me off when he,

Then he invades my dreams- a lie

Concocted by my subconscious

Or,

A bug planted from his hugs.

Never will I know.

But darn him.

I miss him.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Unknown book title but this book will be awesome

this is a little bit about a new book idead i woke up this morning to write. so here goes:



I don’t talk about him, my son. I don’t acknowledge his exsistence. They ,ight take away my daughter too. My husband is dead. Fought in a war that never ended. He too, have been written out of exsistence, only by the memories of people who forgot The Great War or who refuse to bring it up out of fear they might my pershish from record. David was right. We know whats going on, we’re just in denial.
I'm not. Not anymore.
 Killed my best friend in my face. A silent bullet to back of the head. They tried to kill me. But I woke up.
And I remember everything.


Finding Me

So, yesterday at school one of my classes had this big debate or discussion rather about the protest outside of Bank of America on main street in Dallas, Texas. well, its not so much the protest that bugs me, itsthe fact that in mynext class, there werepeopleactually in the protest andhad all their things to campout and fight for the cause(They’re fed up with what they describe as corporate greed. They’re mad about Wall Street bailouts, and they’re frustrated with declining economic opportunities for millions of Americans.-Dallasnews.com)

My trouble is, and i know this is biggerthan me,but these kids re in a protest! God knows what could happen and still, they march, they stand up, they speak up. so my questions is, why arent I? What's my purpose? Is it to protest for a cause? Save a soul? i dont know. So far i've been pretty good about knowing how I am. I, guest you could say I found my way.but know that I'veseen these pretty normal looking kids, people who you'd never inagine standing up for Occupy Dallas, its really making me feel like, okay, what are you going tro do? I mean I'm not going to go and protest but, still, how am I making an impact on the world? What am I doing to better our world? Heck I started out recycling and to be honest, I really dont much much effort into that anymore. So again, what am I doing? If i volunteer, I'll volunteer for an art show or something,is that really doing in justice for our community and for our future generations? im so confused or, rather, wondering, what can i do? What should I be doing? and can my writing have that big of influnece on the world? even if i write about UF/F? I dont know. But i hate feeling inadequate.


Kiss, kisss,kisses

Friday, August 5, 2011

Everlasting Peace

truly i am enjoying every bit of my life. God has been good and i am determined not to let the devil get the best of me. taking control of your life when so long its been in someone else's or something's hands and you get free and live your life how God wants you to, it the most beautiful, the most peaceful thing in the world. i promise. things that use to matter, don't matter any more. things that use to take up your time just so you may avoid life become powerless. this year has been a journey and its rounding up this coming October. it will be a year in October that my mom past. i have learn so much about myself and about those around me that its scary. SCARY scary. but i made it, even though i never thought i could. im proud of me. i know Mama Jean is too. i love you luv, stay beautiful and teach those Angels how to love...

kiss kiss no tears this time kiss

8/5/11

Saturday, July 16, 2011

proud to say

I am happy as a bird flying low to greet the children he's watched grow from his tight little branch above their home. ahhhhhhh! i just want to scream. But unfortunately there're are people around me and so i can do no such thing.(atleast without disturbing then.)
I have been up since about 7:40 this morning and wrote till about 11:00 this morning. The only bad side of this, was i wrote on the wrong book. When i was suppose to be writing on my Jenna story and i wrote on Savi instead. But like i said Jenna is coming along nicely, i just need a title and to work my outline into the parts ive written which wont be so hard if my computer stop frezzing. But leave it to the computer man who says that it has an antivirus ware on it. right. But!!! The bright side is that i now have a chapter one for Savi that i am satisfied with. There's most of the elements i wanted in it, like the club scenes which im sad to say Savi's not doing the dancing but it works so much better like this. her and her talk with jeremy. the savi and KIm scene was cut ALOT but thats okay cause it works for Kim character and the book together so happy about that. there is the bathroom scene(i like the way i wrote it the first time with her falling outside the door and she kind of sees them being taken, the girl sorta hovers above her in a shadowy fog and she sees the creepy stranger staring at her) the way it now is is better for the story(mabey i'll post the other one day.) We meet several suspicous charaters and we get a sense of all of her friends better than the approach i was using and we meet Tao and his beautiful self. I now have abetter understanding of the thing she calls the spark. how beautiful. im excited. really turely i am.

kiss kiss kisses muah!

Monday, July 11, 2011

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

I'm getting a lot done for my Jenna story. I know I know bad me; I still need a title for it. Ugh, I'm getting there. But so far I have an outline, which I was for the last two years I've decided that I want to write, I thought I didn't need. It isn't that hard, I thought. I'm just telling a story. Its simple, just do this, this and this. Wrong!
I'm glad I have one now. Still, though, I write before I outline. I tend to get to know my characters better that way, even if-like my Jenna short, I have to rewrite alot of it. I think by writing, then outlining, I kind of know what, when, where and why(? Hopefully on that part). But its much easier for me to fill in the gaps than to create new ones so, yea.
Also I have a location, not just some mid-west state and city somewhere on a map. I now know what all races and species are. And I have a means to an end. Meaning I'm not just writing and whatever happens happens-meaning, again, some of my fav scenes had to get cut or done in a different way to keep in tune with the story line, the beginning and ultimately the ending. I love it. And I'm finding out better ways to write and prepare myself to write and research more on my Savi. novels.
This is good stuff. If you didn't know now you do. Be sure and checkout the great advice on http://www.magicalwords.net this place. This is my savior. Love them here! Its a site dedicated to helping authors of fantasy but the knowledge here can be applied to almost every genre of book set in our fictional worlds. So explore, enjoy and write.


Kiss kiss kisses

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Aron

My name became a legend. It is wispered among the trees, carried by the ropes and vines that watch this very city. Some say I am a myth. Some say I am a Hol slave who rose to dominance inside the Bridges.
Others say, I was a sheer headed child born to Bridge parents. Most say, I was manifested.
But me, I say I was created.



This was literally a dream. The story not the synap. I wrote as much as I could remember, which was all of it. That was the first time I ever remembered my dream(when they play out in story mode or when I have a ***compulsion*** to write it down) that I actually remembered it. So, I had to basically. Anyway I was searching thru my notebook to find an outline for a short story I wanted to go ahead and finish and saw the story I summerized from beginnging to end. I'd completely forgotten about it. But I can't wait to get started on it.

P.s.
Savi is turning out great. Lots and lots of research but I'm up for it. Also mabey a series for my blog. I originly wanted that for my Jenna story(sorry I don't have names yet) but I'm really excited to submit that to a contest or half of it for a mag as a series(?) mabey. Let's hope. Okay tootles. Have to write. Still got that goal to reach.

Kiss kisss Kissess

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

This Sucks

I need to write and honestly, I want to say I'm stuck. I know I'm being lazy or scared. I think scared. I almost finished my first short story ever and it was my BABY!!! I loved the idea of Maxie and Don. Their love was so real and firey, It made my blood bubble. It was the romance I've always wanted you minus the nagging sister, the pompus mom, the wierd sister who goes silent toward some people and colorful wind who whispers annyoing in your ear. Oh what a dream.
I really don't want to start a new story then have it lost again.it sucks and if you've never lost a story, mabey you don't know what its like. but its like losing a beloved pet(which I also lost the past year). I will not give up nor lose hope. I acutally starting writing like now, at 9:13 pm when I went to the web and realized I never finished this post, which I started at like 1:30 today. So... Good me!!!
......Kiss Kiss

This Sucks

I need to write and honestly, I want to say I'm stuck. I know I'm being lazy or scared. I think scared. I almost finished my first short story ever and it was my BABY!!! I loved the idea of Maxie and Don. Their love was so real and firey, It made my blood bubble. It was the romance I've always wanted you minus the nagging sister, the pompus mom, the wierd sister who goes silent toward some people and colorful wind who whispers annyoing in your ear. Oh what a dream.
I really don't want to start a new story then have it lost again.it sucks and if you've never lost a story, mabey you don't know what its like. but its like losing a beloved pet(which I also lost the past year). I will not give up nor lose hope. I acutally starting writing like now, at 9:13 pm when I went to the web and realized I never finished this post, which I started at like 1:30 today. So... Good me!!!
......Kiss Kiss

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

pansies are pretty

Just bought a notebook. Its covered in a pretty pretty coloful pansies. How cute. Never thought I was a pansie girl. More of a daisy or lily, but hey! Whatever.
Not feeling to well to day. I hate drinking OJ when sick so because I'm tech not sick yet, I have stocked up. Have some tomatoe soup, need chicken noodle. Head hurts, don't feel like thinking. Outside will do me some good but I don't want to sit outside. Mabey I'll open the window instead.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

where to begin

Good morning. Its about nine I think, where I am. The sun has yet to reach the porch. Its my ideal time to write, while the earth is still quiet and lazy folks are still in bed, sleepy folks are just making it home and car alarms are going off for no reason. Ha!
I'm watching Harper's Island, so glad I didn't get to miss this this time around.(I got distracted so I thought I'd mention it.) Anyway, I haven't really wrote anything in the past week or so, because I drop my phone into my tea. That made it very sticky. I wiped it(parts I could see), put it in rice(though I was impatient and dug it out every six seconds); I like to say I cared for it while it was sick. Then it betrayed me(though it might say I betrayed it in the first place).
That damn thing started to ignore my commands by rejecting my pass code, not letting me read any of the ebooks I downloaded, txt'n wen it flt lik it, not letting me know I had missed calls but somehow I voicemail it wouldn't let me hear. THEN, then, it just said screw you. Its lights up, shows me my home screen, teasing me with it, knowing good darn well I want in bad.
The phone company says, you don't have insurance, we can't replace your phone. Lucky me I have an old sprint phone, my blackberry curve, so I switched, not knowing that they were going to wipe the darn thing clean(leaving my music, yeppie! That's sacrasm if you didn't know). Music is replaceable but all those stories I wrote aren't. Esp the one I was almost finished about my Maxie.
I'll tell you about it soon. I'm still working on that part, that five sentence paragraph that tell you everything you need to know. But, yep, that's why I'm devestated, its gone. I've been in mourning, to sad to write, but I think I'm ready now. Mabey I'll start back with Maxie or mabey I'll finish Jenna's story. Who knows. I have to go. I haven't done my makeup and the sun is slowly creeping up my window.

Monday, May 16, 2011

day !

my first day on the blog. i cant wait to write some more. i hope you guys enoy my ramblings and things. i cant wait to post my stories and experience and everything. i will put my all and my best into this, i promise. look out for updates on short stories and the forever going novel im writing.....kiss kiss and more kisses